challenge: "Um, Kakashi, why am I tied to the bedposts and what are you doing with that cucumber?" ___ So Kakashi had asked him out for drinks---“you can hear the real story of what Naruto’s been up to lately”---and Iruka had been surprised, but pleased and blushingly agreed. So they’d sat in the bar with their sake---plain for Iruka, plum for Kakashi---and exchanged stories and about halfway through, Iruka realized he was being mercilessly teased (but in an oddly flirty type way). By then he was too drunk to care and a round later, he was, rather ineptly, attempting to tease back. Or was it flirt? Something like that. So Kakashi had offered to escort him home---“can’t have you walking into a ditch and drowning yourself”---and Iruka had mumbled the equivalent of a yes and given up his house keys without blinking. What a nice guy Kakashi was, really. A hazy time later he was literally dropped into his own bed, where he proceeded to sleep like a slightly inebriated log. This did not, in his mind, explain his current situation. “Um, Kakashi, why am I tied to the bedposts and what are you doing with that cucumber?” The jounin turned up both eyes in a beam that was cheerfully innocent in a way that masked men holding cucumbers and porn magazines shouldn’t be. “I thought we should discuss our relationship.” “We don’t *have* a relationship!” Panic was making his voice unattractively squeaky. Iruka twisted his hands against the binding ropes, hissing in frustration when he saw the dim glow of charka that lined them. “Exactly,” Kakashi said with a nod, as if this had been his point all along. He looked down at the magazine and seemed to be comparing the vegetable to something in it. Iruka went pale, sweating nervously. He knew the other ninja was a little odd---all ninja were, in their own ways---but this was just beyond anything he’d imagined (excluding those times in the shower, which don’t really count). “Kakashi! Untie me! This is insane!” “Not really,” Kakashi sighed, not looking up, “I thought we should establish the parameters of the relationship right off the bat. Less confusion that way. Hmm, do I have enough oil. . .” “And that involves me being tied to the bed??” Iruka demanded, struggling in greater earnest now. Damnit, he was no match for Kakashi; the man could take him with both hands behind his back and a toothpick. “Oh don’t worry, we’re both going to be naked too,” Kakashi said reassuringly. Iruka failed to be comforted. Kakashi studied the magazine a little longer, nodded decisively, and sat down on the bed. Calmly ignoring his intended victim’s struggling and swearing, Kakashi tugged down his mask and leaned slowly into Iruka’s face. “If you don’t like it, you can always say no,” Kakashi promised, brushing his lips over Iruka’s nose in a way that made his body freeze and his blood heat, “But first, lets talk, hm?” A few hours later, Iruka had to admit; Kakashi did make a convincing argument. //end.file
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