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Part 3 pairings: Heero/Duo/Wufei (heh) mentioned later-Trowa/Quatre C & C always welcome.
Wufei ran until his legs burned and ached and still he wanted to keep running. It wouldn't do any good, no matter how far he got away from them, he'd have to go back eventually or the others would come looking for him. He realized he was in a park and forced himself to slow down and finally stop. His lungs burned with the strain and his legs shook, but it was nothing compared to the turmoil in his mind. [Weak. I am weak. I gave into to a weakness of the flesh, I lost control.] He walked over the grass carpeting of the park and started doing his exercises. [I shamed myself and my friends. I was weak.] Wufei moved faster in his katas, pushing his already straining body past the limit. The logical part of his mind told him that he'd been drugged and couldn't be expected to have fought it off. [I'm a warrior! I could have fought it, could have won! But I didn't even try, I gave up soon as Duo crawled over me.] Sweat trickled down the back of his neck and under his shirt, [Worse, Duo couldn't control himself either, his reactions weren't honest, weren't real.] And that hurt the most. Just having sex with either of them would have been hard enough for him to handle, but at least then it would have been baised on true affections, an honest desire to be together. What had happened was just a lie. He had betrayed himself, his friends, his justice, and the memory of his wife, all on a lie. [Weak. Coward. Shameful.] Air sobbed in his lungs, muscles ached and trembeled. Sweat poured into his eyes, making them before. He moved faster yet, trying to escape himself, escape the memories of that sweet body moving under him, begging, encouraging him..... His body finally refused to obey him and he stumbled to the ground, knees giving out. Bitter tears slid down his face and he brought his hands up to hide them. He pulled his legs against his chest and rocked back and forth, not caring if anyone saw him. [Nataku, I have shamed myself.]
Duo stared at the wall next to his bed and felt like an idiot. Granted, it wasn't a new feeling, but frustrating all the same. Sighing, he streched out from his curled postion, cheeks stiff feeling from the tracks of his tears. Now that the flood of anger and grief had passed, his logic (such as it was) had come to the forefront. "I really am an idiot." He knew the emotions were Heero's weak point. He also knew that the spandax-clad boy tended to lash out when forced to confront them. [Okay, think, brain, think. What's going through that self-destructive little head of his?] Duo absently chewed on the end of his braid. [Allright, number one: he must think I hate him. Number two: he likely hates himself for getting me into the postion that caused me to hate or him to *think* I hate him,] he stopped and reviewed that line of thought and finiding it correct, plowed on, [Number three: since I was drugged, he thinks that I really don't feel about him that way. Which is stupid because I do.] He flopped onto his back and pulled his braid from his mouth. With a grimace, he wiped the spit off on his pants. [Number four...wait, what was number four? Oh, right...Number four: he hiding behind his brick wall again and probaly inforced it with barbed wire and set of really nasty rottweilers. And undone all my hard work pulling it apart. Damn.] His face twisted. It at been a long hard road to get the stoic boy to open up to him at all. And even then it hadn't been much of anything. An all-most smile there, no threat to kill him here, alowing a touch or two....not alot, but it was everything to Duo. Last night at been the most incredible moment in his life, yet had brought down everything he had worked so hard to build. [Fucking scientists.] He sat up and swung his feet to the floor, unable to hold still any more. Fingers twisting and tugging on his cross, he began pacing. "Okay, now I know the problem, how to work it out?" he frowned, "First, I have to talk to him. I know he listens to me, even we he pretends he doesn't, at least he'll hear the words. Now, whether he believes them or not is another story all together. Heero no Baka. The hard part will be admitting my own feelings. Hmm. Well, I'll just have to rough it out." He feel silent for three circuits of the room before speaking again. "Once isn't going to be enough, I'm going to have to tell him the same thing again and again, every chance I get. Otherwise, I guess its back to the same old, same old." Duo sighed. "No, its not." Now that he knew what being with Heero was like, he wouldn't ever be able to forget it. There would be no more causal touching or accidental brushes. Heero would see them for what they were and Duo himself would have trouble controlling his own desires. Breakfast had proved it, all he could think about was the next chance he would get to haul Heero back to bed, to taste his kiss, feel his arm around his body. And not just him either. "Wufei," his misery returned. He knew this had to be harder on the reclusive boy then on him. Wufei was so obsessed with justice and honor. *This* little mess had to have shattered straight through his believes. Heero was barricaded away, Duo was the only on who could help. "Heero I can deal with. Heck, I've been taking him on for months. But Wufei...." his mouth tightened. He was badly tempted to go talk to Quatre about it, but Wufei would *never* forgive him if everyone knew about this. "I'll just have to do it. My best talent is talking. So, when Wufei gets back, that's what I'll do." With a deceive nod, he collapsed back on his bed and began a mental list of what he'd have to cover with Wufei. And to make sure his own feelings were straightened out.
It was after dark by the time Wufei made it back the apartment. Quatre, Trowa, and Duo were waiting for him in the living room. Heero had himself shut away. Wufei avoided the eyes of his teamates. "Are you alright?" Quatre inquired, always concerned for others. "Where were you?" "I'm fine." Wufei answered evasively, heading toward his room. He planned to grab some bedding and sleep on the couch tonight. With any luck, a new mission would come up and they'd have move, hopefully he could be by himself. "You shouldn't stay out so late. We didn't know where you had gone." Trowa scolded, but in a disintrested way, as if quoting from a book. "I'm fine." he repeated, turning around the corner into the hallway. The sooner he got away from Duo, the better. He could feel the other's presence like sunshine on his skin. Sunshine that burned and hurt. He hurried to his room, throwing open the door and entering. Someone else closed the door behind him. Duo leaned against the closed door, a slight, gentle smile taking place of his normal maniac grin, a warm look in his violet eyes. Wufei shuddered and turned around. [Close, he's too close.] "Go away, Duo." he forced out, "I don't feel like talking." Arm slid around his waist. Wufei abruptly became a Wufei-statue (sans the bird droppings). "So don't talk. Listen." Duo spoke softly, but with a hint of firmness. Wufei tried to shove him away, but couldn't seem to make the effort. As it was, he could barely breath. "I understand that you are ubset. I am too. And so is Heero, believe it or not. I need to tell you what I feel. Will you listen to me?" Wufei swallowed dryly and nodded. The arms were removed, leaving fire in their wake. Mentaly cursing his body and its reactions, Wufei forced himself to turn and sit down on his bed. Duo sat acoss from him, braid draped over his shoulder, hands tucked between his knees. He frowned slightly and shifted his postion, then settled down with a relieved sigh. "Wufei...." Duo stopped, the plowed onward, "I know you've never been overly fond of me. Hey, I understand it! Believe me, I know I'm a hard person to like. But I've always thought of you has a friend. And yeah, I thought about other things once or twice, you are very, very attractive, but there's Heero...and no offence, but you could be a real prude sometimes and straight as a board. For the most part, you're just my friend. Beyond that...." he looked off to the side and shifted around again, "Last night....Well, there are worse things I could imagine then getting screwed by Chang Wufei. And I assure you, you did a great job!" Wufei turned scarlet. "I don't like the fact that it was while under the infulance, so to speak. You know its considered rape when the person is drunk or whatever? Them saying ‘yes' doesn't count since they don't know what's going on. But.....I trust you. You're my friend and fellow pilot, I'd trust you my life. *Surely* my virtue is less valuable then *that*. I knew then, and know now, that you would have never hurt me." "What are you sayin, Duo?" Wufei wanted badly to pull away, to run again, but he knew Duo would stop him. A helpless, frantic look covered Duo's face. "I'm saying I care about you. As a friend, as a lover, it *doesn't* matter! I care about you and I know you're tearing yourself apart over this, but you shouldn't! It wasn't your fault! And....and....damnit," his hands came out to grab Wufei's, shocking the other boy, "I can't stand the thought of you hurting yourself over something so stupid...." "'Stupid'?" Wufei cried, trying to jerk his hand away and failing, "I had no control over myself! I gave in completely to my desires! And they weren't even real! I assaulted you!" "Who said I didn't want it?!" "Of course you wanted it! You were under the same drugs as me!" "And what makes you think I would have turned you down even if I wasn't drugged?" Wufei froze, mouth gabbing. Duo sighed. "I told you earlier I found you attractive. But that's so beside the point. This is not coming out the way I wanted. I..." he stopped, a look of comprehension lighting his eyes. "Wufei...I forgive you. I don't blame you for what happened and know no one else would. I forgive you." The immobile boy let out cry and crumbled, legs pulling up and hands covering his face, not carring that Duo still held onto them. A sad, real smile spread Duo's lips. He pulled himself up next to Wufei and held him gently, not tight enough to confine him, but enough to comfort and let him know someone was there. "I never blamed you. I forgive you." The words became a soft song, repeated over and over incase they weren't heard the first time.
Duo stared out the window into the dark city night. [One down.]
Lines of data trailed down the screen, quickly read and stored away for later. The green glow of the laptop reflected in Heero's eyes, emotionless as its operator. Heero read through the last line of data and closed it down for later. He put the laptop away with all the care it required and turned to the bed. He hadn't changed the sheets yet and the smell was greating rather strong. [I should clean that up.] Make no move to do so, he undressed for bed and went to the bathroom to go through his nightly routine. He foucessed entirely on what he was doing, blocking out his mind which kept imprinting violet and black eyes on eyerthing he looked at. Finishing up, he return to the bedroom and stood looking at the bed for a long time. Finally, he moved towards it and gathered the mess up into a neat, effective bundle. The rest of the apartment was slient as he made his way to laundry room and set the sheet there. Getting fresh one, he returned to his room, a feeling more secure once the door was closed. He remade the bed. Then he grabbed an extra blanket and sleep on the floor that night. Even renmade with clean sheets and pillowcases, it still smellled of *them*. Chased by the memory of warm arms, Heero fell asleep.
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